Ten Badass Intros in Metal

Feeding time at the Zoo - Exodus

Phone rings…

Zookeeper: Hello?

Caller: The monkey department please..

Zookeeper: Yes, well what is it?

Caller: Oh, I’m interested in purchasing some monkeys

Zookeeper: Yes…

Caller: You understand how this sounds…what types of monkeys do you have?

Zookeeper: Well .. we have the spider monkey, the little capuchin monkey, we have the cinnamon ring tail. .what monkey do you want?

Caller: Well, which are the most tender?

Zookeeper: You mean the, which make the best pet

Caller: No ..I’m interested in making a monkey soup

Zookeeper: a What?!

The riff starts

Sweet Leaf – Black Sabbath

I am guessing this is how they came up with the intro.. they know better…

Iommi: Hey y’all, let’s make a love ballad about weed

Ward, Butler: Yeah man, sounds cool

Ozzy: Fuck yeah, now we’re talking

Iommi: Lets smoke our way into the song..

Ward, Butler: Hey, you sure man, that’ll tick people off

Iommi: Like we ever gave a damn, Haters gonna hate

Ozzy: What smoke? Where?

Iommi: I’ll cough after smoking a joint and lets tape loop the shit out of that ..to make the intro

Ozzy: Not fair you fuckers, I should be the one smoking…

Good job boys. Badass rating: A+

Set the World on fire – Megadeth

Some of them would love it, if they heard The Ink Spots happily singing away ‘I don’t want to set the world on fire’.  Well not the hotheaded Mustaine. He samples the same happy song’s intro layered with a whistling sound of a doomed missile and starts the riff right at booming sound of the warhead’s impact. Now that’s a big load of Megadeth blowing up in your face.

Nothin’ to Lose – Rebel Meets Rebel

If country metal doesn’t give you the picture of what badass is, the intro will show it to you. It starts off voice of Vinnie Paul dealing blackjack,  sound samples of gambling and money; It doesn’t end there, the sound of woman moaning in pleasure and a scratchy guitar riff infused by the great Dimebag Darrell make this as badass as any Texan booze.

The Number of the beast – Iron Maiden

Woe to you, oh earth and sea

For the Devil sends the beast with wrath

Because he knows the time is short

Let him who hath understanding

Reckon the number of the beast

For it is a human number

Its number is six hundred and sixty six

If you ask me, this intro is the most badass on the list. Hey, anything that rattles the balls of brainless social conservatives in enough to make it onto the list. Well done Iron Maiden.

Who we Are – Machine Head

One day I was singing the intro from this song and my friend goes ‘What is that stupid chanting like school kids’. So I immediately get her to listen to the song and she is evidently dumbstruck. Here’s how it goes…

This is who we are

This is what I am

We have nowhere else to go

Divided we will stand

Now, what’s interesting is that you’d never expect a bunch of kids singing something like that. That’s exactly what happens in the intro.

Oh and by the way, it’s none one other than Phil’s son and Flynn’s sons singing in the intro.

Raining Blood – Slayer

A song’s intro that has the ability to send a moshpit into a crazed rampage is worthy enough to be placed on this list. Why is this badass you ask? Anybody who has seen this song live will tell you the answer.

Madhouse – Anthrax

You’d expect a song that is about a psychiatry ward to have a crazy intro right? It does. The nurse goes ‘It’s time for your medication Mr. Brown’ which is immediately replied by a retarded laughter. The riff is no less ‘crazy’.  It’s a madhouse or so they claim.

Maximum Satan – Annihilator

The intro seems pretty random and harmless on the first listen. If you listen closely though, the beast growling in the background seems less threatening than the haphazard news annunciations. The maximum Satan in this song is not about the any immortal beast but about the pure evil in the society. Kudos to Jeff Waters for writing this masterpiece.

Omerta – Lamb of God

Whoever appeals to the law against his fellow man is either a fool or a coward

Whoever cannot take care of himself without that law is both

For a wounded man shall Say to his assailant, "If I live I will kill you, if I die you are forgiven"

Such is the rule of honor

*Riff *

The song is about the honor code in the mafia. No finer example for badass, than this, I say.